Falling to Pieces
by oneofakind
Summary: ever love someone?


William Jordan "Spike" Giles woke up with sweat dripping off his forehead. He had the same dream again. She was there, walking to him, laughing her sweet laugh, while her golden blonde hair swept around her. Everything about her was real, even the way she smelled. They were on the beach talking about the idea of children. She had giggled and said that they were too young to think about it. Then he woke up.

Spike got up and walked down to the small kitchen. He looked out the window to the next house, his Uncle's. Rupert was out again, working hard on his business no doubt. Rupert had been a good father figure since his mother had passed on years ago, but he was very busy trying to keep them happy. Spike missed his mother more than anything, but she was better off he would say. Spike grabbed a glass of water and walked over to the TV. There she was on E! T.V. Her blonde hair, even brighter with her 100 waltz smile, made her seem angelic. She had the same eyes, though they seemed happier without him now.

Maybe it was the right thing to do. She did go far without him. She was that star she always wanted to be. But if it was right, then why does it hurt so much?

"Buffy get your cute ass up."

"Screw off Cordy." Buffy said as she rolled over and flipped her brunette friend off.

"Don't pull that shit on me. I have got better things to do than your hair, but I know that it is partly what you are famous for. Now get your butt up and let me make that cat you call hair into the beauty you know it can be."

"Alright, but you are so hearing my dream."

With that Buffy sat up in her bed and tried to wipe away her sleep. She walked over to her "hair chair" as Cordy called it, and plopped down.

"Okay, so what happened in your dream?"

"You know the one about the beach and talking about children? Well that same one again. But this time it was more in-depth. I am starting to worry."

"It is just a dream, nothing serious."

"Yeah, maybe you're right."

Buffy began to think while Cordy started working on her hair. The day had just begun and it seemed too strange to not be a dream. She really missed him. She had everything she had wanted, yet none of it compared to her dream of just being his wife and the mother of his children.

Flash Back

"Willow I can't believe it. You really are a life saver." Elizabeth smiled at her best friend.

"Well I knew William and you would love to see the show and Oz hates the theatre. So why not? Now you guys go out and have a ball tonight."

"This is going to be so great. You are being the coolest and giving up a great show! I love you so much."

"Tell me all about it tomorrow."

Elizabeth smiled at her friend and walked over to her lover. He was talking to Oz and Angel about a current video game that was the biggest hit since Grand Theft Auto. Seeing Elizabeth giggling and running toward him he couldn't help but to smile wide. She jumped up as he opened his arms to catch her. She was his again, everything was right. She whispered in his ear, "Guess what?"

"What?" He gently replied.

"We are going out tonight.

"Oh we are?"

"Yeah huh! If you can."

"Anything for you baby."

Elizabeth smiled to her man. He really was a rare gem. He had blonde hair, unnaturally, and the brightest blue eyes anyone had ever seen. He glowed with rebel, even his grin was driven with cocky attitude. He was lean from running and playing football. There was nothing in William she would change.

William looked at his girl. She had a great smile; her eyes would sparkle with happiness and freedom. She would let her hair fly in the wind and never try to tame it; she knew it would do no good. Everything about her was intimidating, yet so her. She wouldn't bow to what others wanted, she was Elizabeth "Buffy" Ann Summers and would always be that girl who cried during Sleeping Beauty and refused to pronounce any other movie her favorite. This girl was his; he had finally won at something. Sure she wasn't perfect, and yeah he had messed up but, she was in his arms smiling wide.

Elizabeth kissed Spike and rubbed her nose to his. Everything was perfect. Willow had Oz, Cordy had Angel, and she had her William back. The sins were over and she would treat him like she should. No more being dumb, mean or sad. She was in heaven.

Faith walked up to Elizabeth and William and grinned. Elizabeth had been pretty tight with Faith, even though they were like night and day. While Elizabeth was shy and quite in front of strangers, Faith was wild and outspoken. Faith would do anything to make sure everyone saw what she saw. She was like a firecracker waiting to explode. Faith was poor and everyone knew it, Elizabeth wasn't rolling in the money, but she did have a fair share. They were just opposites of each other. Even their hair was opposing. Elizabeth was blonde while Faith had brown.

"Hey B."

"Hey Faith. Were is Xander?"

"He is talking with Daniel and Devin. I have no clue why though."

Elizabeth smiled and leaned back into Spike. Faith continued to talk about how dorky her boyfriend was. This year was going to be great.

"Baby I am going to go to class now." Elizabeth said as she turned to William and kissed his nose.

"Alright. Meet you after 8th. I am taking you home right?"

"Of course." She smiled and walked off into Sunnydale High School with a bounce in her step.

"Alright let's get this over with." Buffy said as she walked into the large studio. She was in perfect make-up, everything looked cardboard and fake, but every male in the room was melting for her. She was to finish up her scene for her new music video. The song had been written by Buffy and she really enjoyed the song, but this was hard to sing to after her dream.

"Babe you got to calm down." Cordy said trying to cheer up her friend.

"I know it's just, why this song? Why now? Why the dream?"

"You know I cannot answer any of that."

"Yeah I know."

"Alright Buff let's go. We have two hours to finish this up. Then you're free to go." Nathan Rafferty, the world famous director yelled.

Buffy put on her fake smile and walked into the room that covered her in black and made her feel way too tall. 'I traded everything for this? Wow I am a smart cookie.' Buffy bent down into a crouch and looked up into the camera as the crew members turned on the flashy lights and the fan.

_People can take everything away from you   
But they can never take away your truth   
But the question is..   
Can you handle mine?_

Buffy danced with motivation and power. Her 4 inch heels were killer, but she still couldn't keep from shaking what her trainer gave her. Suddenly she popped down and grinned wickedly into the camera seductively saying her hellos to it. 

They say I'm crazy   
I really don't care   
That's my prerogative   
They say I'm nasty   
But I don't give a damn   
Getting boys is how I live   
Some ask me questions   
Why am I so real?   
But they don't understand me   
I really don't know the deal about my sister   
Trying hard to make it right   
Not long ago   
Before I won this fight

Her body was beginning to get into it. Soon she was ready to be the character. Not that it was too far from her real personality. Sure she wasn't crazy, but she was getting pretty bad gossip in the magazines. But what is a girl to do when you have money to burn and a hot body? It wasn't like she was going to fall in love with anyone else anytime soon. She had fallen in love once and it wasn't worth it.

After the director said cut she said her goodbyes to Cordy and got in her car and began to drive the long way home.

"Here I come Sunnydale." Buffy said to her self as the sun began to rise making her pull her sunglasses down from her hair. This was going to be a long week.

"Spike."

"Hey man. What's up?"

Xander Harris was walking up to Spike with a jump in his step. Anya was soon to give birth to their 3rd child. Spike was happy for Xander, he really was, but it was hard to see him with Anya. It always brought up harsh memories with Buffy. This never kept him from having fun with his true friends.

"We going to the Bronze?"

"Yeah sure why not?"

"Good cause Anya needs to get out. I think the children are getting to her."

Spike laughed shortly. "I think they would me too."

"Well making them was fun."

"Shut up man!" Spike yelled trying to get the images out of his head.

They both cracked up in laughs. Soon they were inside the local club that had been their home when they were in high school. The music hit them as they entered the club. Sounds of the local punk wanna be band was annoying to Spike. He knew that his band was much better. At least they could play more then 4 cords. Xander sat down next to Willow and Oz.

"Wow these kids today just are too punk for me." Spike stated mockingly.

"Yeah I hear you man. I guess that is what I get for wanting to hear good music." Xander further pushed the mocking.

"Well I think that the juke box is about to start anyways." Willow said in a hopeful way.

" Better." Oz said shortly.

This was where he belonged. Spike was happy here. Sure he didn't have her. But things change. Soon enough the juke box was being pumped up and everything was getting better. A familiar song was being played which helped a bit, but it was one that was hard to listen to.

_Notice me   
Take my hand   
Why are we   
Strangers when   
Our love is strong   
Why carry on without me?_

Xander looked over to his friend. Spike really missed her. It had been 4 years ago since they had even spoken; he really needed to move on. 

Every time I try to fly   
I fall without my wings   
I feel so small   
I guess I need you baby   
And every time I see you in my dreams   
I see your face, it's haunting me   
I guess I need you baby

That's when it happened, Elizabeth "Buffy" Ann Summers walked in. She had a face freshly done with make-up. Xander was the only one who saw her apparently. Everyone else was talking and saying how they were looking forward to the Super Bowl next week.

"Hey I'll be back." Xander rose from his seat, dieing to go see his old friend. "Anyone need another drink?"

All looked up to him and said no. Xander walked over to Elizabeth and tapped her on the shoulder. Could this really be her? Why had she come back?

"Umm sorry to bother you,"

"Xander?"

"Yes?"

"Oh my God. I've missed you so much. It's me, Elizabeth."

Xander was so happy to see that he hadn't made a fool of himself by tapping the petite blonde. She jumped up to his height and gave him a full out hug, she was so small that he didn't even have a chance to feel her weight. This was a happy moment.

"How are you?" Buffy said with a small amount of fear of being blown off by her old friend. She had blown him off so it would be fair if he did.

"Great. Willow, Oz, Anya, and more are here. You want to go talk to them also?"

"Well I think a better question would be what are you thinking by asking me that? Of course I want to go talk to them."

Xander began to walk her to the small group of friends. They were all happily talking. She began to her second thoughts to saying hello to them. Willow didn't even give her a chance to turn around.

"Oh my God. Elizabeth?! You look like you just stepped out of a magazine."

Buffy almost told her she had, but thought it would be better just to let it go. She smiled widely to her ex-best friend for life.

"Thank you. You look great also."

Oz randomly stood up and gave Buffy a breath taking hug. Buffy couldn't help but to laugh at the guy. Oz had been the one person she snuck away to talk to. He had helped her with William and any other problem she had for nearly all four years of high school.

"I missed you too." Buffy said when Oz let go of her.

"Hey Liz."

Buffy looked over to her old lover. A shoot of pain came through her. She was ready to let the flood of tears run down her face. Buffy hated that the dreams were making her come back to talk to him. But she knew it was the only way to find out if she had done the right thing when she left him.

"Hey Wil. How are you?"

"Good. You? Don't you have a movie coming out this month?"

Buffy cringed a little, "Yes, The Ladybird Book. And I am doing good also."

"That is good." Spike got up to leave.

"Actually Spike I need to talk to you. In private."

Spike turned back to her with amazement in his eyes. 'Prolly something about how better off her life is now.'

"Sure. Would you want to go to my home or anywhere else you had in mind?"

"Your house is fine with me."

They then said their goodbyes to the group. Buffy promised to talk to each one of them as soon as possible. She got into her Corvette and followed Spike to his house. They entered the house without saying a word to one another. Spike finally broke the silence.

"So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I have had this dream. I know it sounds so lame but I cannot figure out why it won't go away. Well I was thinking you could help me."

"I will try. What did you have in mind about doing to solve this?"

"Talking." Buffy said as the sat down on the same couch that they had first held each other in. She began to think about the past and everything in it.

"You've done really well for yourself." Spike said as the silence ended.

"Thank you."

"Want to talk about that first, to loosen up?"

"Will it bother you?"

"No. I am past the idea of that." Spike said, letting himself open up to a lot of pain. He was lying. He hated that she wasn't there to be in his arms.

"Well I am pretty happy. Cordy is my hair stylist and make-up artist. We have so much fun together. My new CD is about to hit stores. And you know about the movie. I might actually set a new record if I sell more than J.Lo. I don't see that happening though. But my fans are pretty awesome." Buffy said opening up the lies of her own.

"Are you really happy?"

"It really doesn't matter if I am or if I am not. I have everything I wanted."

"I guess so."

"Maybe I shouldn't have done this."

"No. Let's do this. You said you were having dreams, what is going on in them?"

"We are on a beach and talking. I tell you we are too young to have children and then you kind of laugh."

"Really." Spike said trying to not show that he had the same exact dream.

"Yeah, but the weirdest part is the fact that it feels so real. I mean like shoot for the moon this is happening real."

"I don't really know what to tell you. I mean what do I say to that?"

"Well as long as, Buffy you are dumb ass. Get out. Isn't in there I am okay." Buffy shoot him her bleached white teeth. Spike couldn't help but to crack a smile. "See, knew I could get a cute grin."

Even though it was weird to be around Spike again, it was comforting. He was still the lost boy she loved back in high school. She just wished it hadn't come down to this. She was in love with the one human she could never be with.

Flash Back

"I am glad we went." Spike said as he shut the door to his Desoto.

"Me too. I had a lot of fun with you tonight." Elizabeth flashed her cute smile.

On the way back to Sunnydale they covered the subjects of last year and the music that was too emo for the both of them. Elizabeth was stating how she refused to listen to any song by the Sex Pistols because they were too hard and annoying, when Spike pulled over the car.

"What is wrong?" Elizabeth said while her eyebrows went rampant. Why had they stopped?

" Liz I really love you. I know that we haven't been together too long since, well you know, but I do love you. You're the most wonderful thing I could ever had asked for. You make me smile, and you never judge me when I am having geek moments. Elizabeth Ann Summers will you marry me?"

"William of course." Elizabeth leaned over and kissed him with love and passion, after she finished squealing of course.

Buffy's cell phone went off as she began to tell Spike she loved and missed him.

"Hello?"

"Hey girl. Where are you?" It was Cordy.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Buffy rose from the couch and walked out of the house into the brisk night air.

"Well try me." Cordy seemed to be annoyed with the fact the Buffy had left her with out telling.

"Sunnydale."

"What the hell are you doing there?"

"Well I had to figure out the dreams." Buffy said in an annoyed voice.

"Buffy you don't need to be there. You know that will only hurt you."

"Well I was planning on stopping by Devin's house tonight and asking if I could spend some time, or maybe going to Xander's. I really don't know yet. It really depends on how the talk with William goes."

" You are at Will's?" Cordy seemed to be really pissed off now.

"Stop it Cord. If you are really mad then come down here. It's not like your momma hasn't seen you in a long time too. She would love it if you stop by." Buffy really just wanted someone who was always on her side near her. This was going to be the hardest week of her life.

"Maybe. Well I guess I will let you get back to William. Have fun I guess."

"Shut up." Buffy closed her flip phone and walked back into the small house.

"So who was that?"

"Oh, Cordy. She is pretty mad because I didn't tell her I would be down. She was just worried that some stalker got me." Buffy laughed at the innocents and truth in the joke of a stalker.

" Buffy what are you really here for?" Spike said bluntly.

"Will, I just... I don't know, but I just am. I wanted to find out something. I am sorry. I was wrong and there isn't a point to me staying. I am going to go."

"Bye."

Buffy walked back into the house and saw William there, deep in thought. She couldn't help the words that flew out of her mouth.

"Why does this always happen? Why can't I tell you off after the 10 years of knowing you I can't do it. I can't follow threw with telling you the truth of everything."

William's head jerked up. Buffy seemed to be ready to cry. How did this happen?

"What is the truth Buffy. Why are you really here. I really can't take this if it is just a quickie."

Flash Back

William smiled at her. Buffy had fallen asleep on the way back to her house. She had been through a lot. She had to deal with all her friends joking about him being younger than her. Then the battles with Riley were uncontrollably hard. Riley was her ex. He had really messed with her. She had gone through therapy and nearly went crazy over him.

But she was going to marry him. She was going to make him the happiest man alive. They had dated all over his freshman year and now they were back on her senior year. He was a sophomore, he was finally happy to take her out and drive her around. She didn't mind though. She had always said she liked the idea of being independent. He couldn't help but to laugh at her when this was said. She loved being independent was more like it.

Too soon they were back at Buffy's house. William lightly kissed her on the forehead. She woke up softly. Her eyes were glazed over in sleep.

"Hi." William said.

"Sorry to knock out. Guess school stuff is wearing me out."

"Baby it is okay. I understand. Let me walk you to your door."

Buffy smiled and started to open her door.

"You wish!"

William raced around the car to open her door. Buffy kissed him and then got out of the car. William grabbed her hand and helped her stand. She walked slowly to the door.

"Are you happy?" William asked.

"More than any other girl in the world."

"Goodnight baby."

"I love you William Jordan Giles."

"And I love you Buffy Ann Summers."

They laughed lightly at the full name references, then he leaned down and kissed her. Buffy could feel nothing but him. His arms around her, swallowing her. She couldn't help but to take in his tongue and worship it. He was just as pleased with the kiss. He could feel her about to fall underneath him so he grabbed her body more and kissed harder.

When they pulled away both of them were smiling wide. Buffy walked into her house and up to her room. She fell onto the bed and held onto Mr. Gordo, her stuffed animal. William drove off in his Desoto and to his house. Both of them couldn't wait to tell their friends about the kiss.

"I missed you." Buffy said shortly.

"What?"

"I missed you. You made me happy. And sure acting and singing is great, but I love you. You are the only person I can giggle until I can't even breath with."

"You walked out Buffy, I just sat here and wanted you. And I still do, but you have to prove you won't hurt me."

"Can I?"

"Not easily. Now it is getting late and I have things to do tomorrow so if this is all you needed to do, you know the way out."


End file.
